Whenever I don't have anything to do I usually go to Barnes and Noble. I'll think oh know where's the day going? Then I'll hit up B&N, as I call it, and feel like I got some serious shit done. Buying book feels exponentially more productive because it says, "I am nurturing my mind and thinking long term," and when you carry it around (cover out--either in your hand or in the pocket of your leather messenger back and/or cardigan) people will fucking notice.
Let me point out that if the cover references the book's movie remake, this does not count. Like if Kiera Knightley's underbite is dominating you shouldn't buy it. Or, and be careful because they are getting way too tricky about this, if the book is published as a "Barnes and Noble Classic." I cannot stand this. I want a cover that says, "Hey, you're special and you get the cover because you're reading the book. It's very subtle but you're in!" I don't want it branded like a fucking cow.
I decided to go to B&N this weekend with S because I really wanted the new book True Prep; a remake of The Official Preppy Handbook, which came out in the '80s. So we went downstairs to ask where it was at the information desk. Let me just add that wwe were on the Upper East Side it's not exactly "shocking" that our pearls were in. So anyway, we go up to the desk and the two people working there were probably never copied on Gossip Girl, they've probably never even seen it**, if you know what I mean. *** Here's our conversation:
Me: Do you have the new preppy handbook?
Bitch: The WHAT?
Me: The preppy handbook.
Bitch 2: I think all the preppy books are upstairs.
Bitch: Ya try the dog section.
THIS IS TRUE. It's ridiculous. I mean come ON we have dog walkers.
*(Atonement, Never Let Me Go, Pride and Prejudice, HOLY SHIT SHE IS FUCKING EVERYWHERE ) **Ugh!! ***EEW!