Tuesday, September 21, 2010

You are NOT supposed to keep talking

The "how are you?" is a pretty standard part of the meet-and-greet-and-pass. Like if you pass someone on the street who you know but both of you don't care it's: "Hi! How are you?" And you keep moving. You are NOT supposed to keep talking. Sometimes you get totally fucked by being accidentally caring and compassionate (like I clearly am all the time).

Like when people actually answer the question with something really depressing and situationally inappropriate. When I was at my high school reunion I ran into someone who WAS NOT my friend and was obviously like "Hi! How are you?" and she said "Not great. I broke up with my boyfriend and I'm really depressed." *

This also happens in more challenging situations like when you get your haircut and you have to figure out: Do I talk? What are we going to talk about? How long does the conversation go on? Should I stop when you use the hair dryer? Maybe? No. No, I should keep talking even though it's very loud and I'm not saying anything interesting. Why do people always feel the need to start up a conversation? Then I usually spend the rest of the haircut feeling like I need to say something interesting or ask questions. The worst is that my haircutter is fucking hot and looks really awesome so like I feel I have to say something awesome. I was doing a pretty good job holding my own until he noticed the book I brought and was like, "Oh, what are you reading?" and I said, "Ooooh, it's about American colonials in London" and he said, "Cool."

Like even when I'm at the dentist, my dentist is like, "How's life going? Have you started work yet?" I'm sorry I can't focus because I'm looking up into your nostrils and you're breathing on me, not to mention the fact that--oh yes--your fucking fingers are in my mouth so the chance of me responding to your questions are, I don't know, zero.

*I don't care. At all.


  1. OMG, I HATE when my dentist or hairdresser talks to me!! So true.

  2. You might enjoy this: http://hyperboleandahalf.blogspot.com/2010/09/four-levels-of-social-entrapment.html