Thursday, September 9, 2010

It's absolutely getting a word-friend

Whenever people call a restaurant to order out they usually end up saying a word for any confusing letter You say like, "Apt 15 C-for cat", so no one fucks that up.

Yesterday I had to make a lot of phone calls to foreign embassies and, since I'm an ignorant American and only speak one language, I had to ask them to spell everything out. People choose the fucking craziest shit, and, also, once they get in the habit of giving a word for every letter it doesn't stop. Like even if the letter is really obvious; it's absolutely getting a word-friend. This is what one end of the conversation would sound like:

"Here's our email:

A--like "actor" (We all know what A sounds like, but "actor" is okay so we'll let it go)

D--like "dead" (Yup, I actually heard this one and there are a lot of other options for "d" like, um, "dog," for example.)

O--(pause: do I keep going with the spelling thing? I've already started but what the fuck starts with O?): ox

B--like "boisterous" (People always do this: they choose words that are fucking longer than the actual word. WHY?)

You get the idea. This one woman I called had all of her words down. She gave me the longest email ever but had clearly memorized everything. Her email had a whole posse of pals. She knew what was coming and she was fucking ready.


  1. My personal worst was being on the phone with a gentleman in Russia and saying R was for rape.

  2. What's that alphabet pilot's use? Alpha, Bravo, Charlie, Delta, Echo...people should use that universally...b/c we all speak American, right? ;) Boisterous???