Wednesday, September 29, 2010

Is that the one where she kills herself in the end?

My family has a Netflix subscription and my mother picks out the movies. This means we watch a lot of English stuff--anglophilia pervades. Recently, Netflix redid their website so you can no longer see what your friends are watching (this has been moved to facebook). My mother was not pleased and she called customer service. It was one of the best conversations I've ever heard. She proceeded to tell the woman on the other line that she was "not her friend" and "couldn't tell her what to watch."

We usually watch the movies at different times, so frequently my father has seen something before I have but he'll watch it again when I do. He is big into narrative warnings. Like when something really bad or scary is about to happen he'll say, "Here we go." Thanks dad. It's like when I started reading a book for my senior project in high school and he said, "Oh is that the one where she kills herself in the end?" Yes, thank you.

My problem with movies, in general, is that I'm really bad at dealing with the characters stupid decisions. Like in the original Narnia movies I was so fucking annoyed when they went back into the wardrobe. All I could think was "DO NOT GO." You fucking know what is going to happen; you're about to enter a super cracked out christian allegory, this will not be a surprise, and then you are going to spend the rest of the movie trying to leave. Don't do it.

That said, I've never been one to yell at the TV. You know why? Because I fucking know they can't hear me. It's true. I'll watch something and I'll want to reach out, but I have great people skills and natural intuition. I see whats going to happen but I keep quiet.


  1. "Here we go." HAHA. My dad likes to call out plot twists with predictions. It's very annoying. Funny about Narnia. I don't think I'll watch that.

  2. what does it say about me that i wikipedia the endings of movies that scare me so i am let down easy when so-and-so dies?