I remember when we got our first computer. I was sitting in my room and I heard these video game noises and I was pretty stoked because I thought I would finally get to play video games. I was wrong. It was AOL version like 1.0 going crazy as it connected to the internet. This was when screen names started to become big. My first email address was firstname.lastname@example.org No joke. I fucking loved otters and that was going to be my special email code name. Otterpaw. I think otterlover was probably taken, or my dad was worried that was a bit too freaky for the web. I guess the second you put “lover” things can get weird.
Then I moved to AOL because it was cooler and because not only did I have an email, but then I would have instant messaging too. Otterpaw was taken. Ok, what the fuck? Who the fuck was like “Otterpaw—that is the name for me” unless they were also a member of The Friends of the Sea Otter Club and carried around their club card like they were going to get into Costco later. I sort of want to email otterpaw now and ask them what was up with that? Do they know the kind of trauma the name change caused me? If so, how the fuck do they know about my personal life?
My new email address/ AIM on AOL was Antis, which people called me before I went to boarding school. I didn’t even need any numbers because this shit was so new. I used to come back from school sign in and stare at my buddy list for like three hours wondering if all my crushes would sign on soon so that I could wait the appropriate time and then says “sup” because I certainly wasn’t going to type a full sentence and/ or use punctuation. Then when they did sign on and I’d waited (maybe just a little longer than normal because like maybe I should wait for them to IM me first so I can tell them my that nm is what’s up but I’m obviously kind of busy and engaged in other sup/nm exchanges with various other people) I would IM them. Sometimes I would have six on my screen at once. And we used to copy and past different shit we said in IM. It would be like OMG soccerstar14 look what 6thgrade crush said-copy-paste-wait for analytics. For example, when he said "sup" does that mean is he like generally curious how I am? I cannot believe he Immed, yeah, I know, and it was like almost right after he signed on too!
This post isn’t really going anywhere except that I think it’s amusing that all screen names, and email names, and all of that shit is now just literally your actual name. The creativity has been lost because no one wants to put email@example.com on their resume.